Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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