I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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