called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
