If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
