Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
