So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
