Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
