Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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