dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
