she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
