She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
