Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
