I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
