How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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