dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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