ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
