reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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