I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
