I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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