hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
