There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
