My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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