I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Found your dick twin last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
