I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
