In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
