Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
