Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize