I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
is it fun? or sober?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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