How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
