I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
