its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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