My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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