i jhust puked up my retainher.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize