she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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