Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
