we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
