Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
