Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
