i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
