Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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