I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Alive.
So much puke
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
