Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
