Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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