I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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