So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
