i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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