we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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