I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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