Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
