I puked a lego.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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