I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
