whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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