I'm jealous of your bromance
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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