I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
