ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
