Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
