i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
