names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize