Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
