My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
