I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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