I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
