How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Randomize
