I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
