Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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