How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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