So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
